Great News On All Fronts!

First, let me say that all of the wonderful things in my life are attributed to my Heavenly Father, who I know loves me as his child. Miracles Happen; Believe it!

I called a couple of days ago to speak to my advisor at Capella University about the incomplete I was so worried about. I found out that I can start my next class, take the next quarter to finish, if I wish, and will get my financial aid without a glitch. It turns out, I was told, that although there is a policy to the contrary, there is no mechanism in place to enforce it or stall your financial aid. I also changed my course. I was taking Introduction to Organizational Psych. I realized how boring it sounded, and re-read the section in our text, "Careers in Psychology" regarding I/O Psych, and decided...yuck! This is not where I really want to be! I was looking around the Psychology department PhD and PsyD programs. I would absolutely LOVE to get my PsyD. And who knows what could happen in a year while I'm taking the core classes. That, is the other good news.

I finally made it to see Dr. Danny Purser, an endocrinologist. I was referred to him in June, when I went to my first doctor, who gave me referrals for every specialist I needed based on the illnesses I had been diagnosed with in the last 13 years. But I couldn't afford to see him because he doesn't file any federal or state insurance. But he agreed to see me "Pro Bono" - free. Said I would need any money I had for the drugs, because they are costly. One injectable pen of human growth hormone=$250, and that's cheap, cheap. He said retail was $400. each. More on that in a minute.

He asked me several questions based on what information I had given about symptomology over the phone, and it was, "Yes"..."yes"..."yes". He said, okay, let's look at your blood work, essentially saying let me show you the proof. He was so funny too. First of all he had a major car accident, as I did, and fell ill afterward, like I did. Being a Doctor, he did research (which he gives to patients with the same problem) and then he learned what had happened and how to fix it. What is so cute is that as I would ask questions, he would call me "grasshopper" (vintage 1968-1974 approx.-- Kung Foo with Richard Caradine...the Master always called him "grasshopper"). So I would ask how exactly something worked that he was explaining, and he would say, "Not so fast, grasshopper!" He used it in similar ways throughout the interview.

I have what is called Anterior Pituitary Gland Dysfunction. It turns out that stress causes harm to the Pituitary Gland, which is the headquarters of all hormones. Hormones are what keep us healthy and happy. No hormones, you die. I had made a list of all my medications, when they were first prescribed, and what they were prescribed for, and by whom. He looked at the earliest date (I realized much later) and asked me what happened that year. Turns out it was the year I had a hysterectomy. Then some family stress - major family stress. Then I started working two jobs, then I burned out after 10 years and moved to California where I was fine until I was in a MVA (Motor Vehicle Accident). Because, next, he asked what happened that year. Because on my list, the "cascade" of meds that I have to take daily started being prescribed.

He then explained to me that stress is damaging the pituitary gland, and can be so severe if you are under severe stress for long periods and/or have one major trauma to the body (and some people are more sensitive to this than others), you can actually burn out your pituitary gland. He explained that there were hormones that were essential to life: estradiol(even though I had been taking this, I didn't have enough, almost none), progesterone and testosterone, but also - and this surprised me - human growth hormone. We need this our whole life. Ever heard the phrase,"Get busy living or get busy dying"? Well, our bodies re-constitute themselves in a cycle, shedding old cells and making new ones. Without these essential hormones, this process is all screwed up. PLUS, these hormones are then responsible for Thyroid function (it all actually begins in the hypothalamus, then pituitary, then Thyroid. My Thyroid was low, my cortisol had bottomed out dangerously low (one week on a higher dose of prednisone to replace this and I feel 75% better). My Estradial, Testosterone Human Growth Hormone were all extremely low - too low to be doing me any good. So I must replace these things, as well as melatonin for sleep. Turns out, the sleeping pill I have been on, Rozerem, is "bio-medical" melatonin. What that means is that is that it is created in a lab, like medication always are, but is mostly human-hence the bio part. I'm just not getting enough. Exactly the same with the estradiol; what I take is bio-medical.

Down side? It's costly. Upside? I am blessed with the fact that my decision to return to school means that every three months I get some extra funds left over after my tuition is paid. I had planned to get a car this time, and still may, but my medications will be around $300 a month, maybe more, as we slowly increase the growth hormone. Fortunately, this can be deducted from my Medicaid deductible as well as my housing!! I may even come out ahead this year if they both count it!!

Anyway, back to the Dr. visit...he looked at me, so serious, and said, "You are a very sick woman; did you know that?" I'm like, yeah, I had a clue when I have hurt every day for 13 years now, and am exhausted all the time no matter how much I sleep; I can't think, and my personality has changed... So, Yeah, I knew, but didn't know it was this bad.

He started to say that in a year I would be off all the prescription medications I currently take and feel well again. Then he changed it to 18 mos. That is when said I was very ill, based on the labs and my answers to his questions. This is his specialty. He even goes once monthly to work with another endocrinologist in Southern California at US He is the only physician I have talked to who know Dr. Dan Wallace, the Lupus Guru of all lupus patients who've done any research/reading about it. He is at Cedar Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles where I was when I fell ill, and he diagnosed my Lupus (now in remission, or was when I got here).

Toward the end, after discussing his California visits, he said, "you'll have to come with me out to California sometime when I consult with ...I forget the name of the Endocrinologist, but they both specialize in the same things. I thought that was very cool. I may (or may not) have been the fact that I had been a professional prior to becoming ill as well. Or maybe not. He is by far the most caring, concerned, empathic, authentic Doctor I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot. I felt like crying with relief, but couldn't. I just felt like I was floating. And I trust it; I trust the Doctor who referred me, and when he heard I was finally getting to see Dr. Purser he was thrilled (the referring doctor was thrilled), and said, "We send our patients, like you, to him, and they come back well and thank us. He's our secret weapon". The nurse practitioner I see first said he was so "stoked" I was getting in to see him! He was visibly excited. I have been to that clinic quite a bit, and they are also warm and empathic. Both Nexus - the first doctor(s) I saw, and Dr. Purser both believe NOT in treating symptoms, but in finding the source of the symptom and dealing with that. I have to call Kim Strong. She will be so thrilled to hear this, and to learn about it!! She probably already knows it!

Anyway, that's my news. It's late. I slept from 6:30-11:30. I was up from 9:30 until 6:30 and just collapsed. All day Monday I was gone, taking two buses two hours each way to see a Doctor; Tues in bed, Wed went early early to Amy's - caught the bus at 9:30am (great for me right now) and stayed overnight and she brought me home at about 6:00pm. I left double food and water for Tobe and Bo and they didn't touch it! I was so upset for them. It's instinct though- the don't know how long I will be gone, how long they have to make that last. I had forgotten to replace the old "poddy pads" with new ones, so they were so good,just went were the poddy pad would have been in the bathroom, but not much, because they didn't ingest much. Neither of them has eaten a meal yet since I've been home.

But I'm signing off to go to bed now. Don't forget: Miracles do happen. I think, and I realize that had I not had an aptitude to become somewhat computer savvy, I wouldn't have kept updating my computer, and if I hadn't gotten the lap top, there is no way I could have started working on my PhD., and had I not started working on my PhD, I wouldn't have the funds to get well. So the initial event to get me well actually happened 3 years BEFORE I became ill, when I got my first PC and started learning all I could. Now if that's not God's plan, I don'tknow what is. The events of my healing were set in motion before I was sick. And I had been looking for schools, researching the best ones, etc., since October, if not before.
I thank God for this miracle. I thank him for taking care of me and carrying me through to this point in time. I hate that I lost so many years, but that's past. NOW I know I have a future. I used to cry over the loss of a future, because that's what I anticipated. Good night,all.